Support, Support, Support!!

Today has been a great day for reflection and sleep. One for counting my blessings and gratitude. One for setting a record of minutes spent on the phone and laying about with my feet up. One of those several marathon conversations led to this specific juncture for consideration: is it time for me to start a second blog? Is there value in having a 'two time, breast cancer-survivor' blog that stands on it's own? There I could conceivably open my heart and share such things as the fortitude it requires to take the baby steps necessary to move forward, or more likely, all the steps required to keep from slipping backwards. I could spill my inards about all the gory gross stuff of recovery, side effects and dressing my surgery site, the gloppity-glop that fellow cancer sistahs might find of some use or encouragement..... And then the 'rainbow' girl could continue on the singing/children/teachers/arts/happy channel without skipping a beat.

Well. After some personal thought for a couple weeks and a few focused hours of consideration, I've decided to stick to the one blog, one TOTAL experience of life concept...... probably in large part, due to that choice being 'easier' on me. LOL. How on earth could I juggle two separate universes? Obviously this choice presents a few draw-backs as well. Someone clocking in on a rare occasion may be caught off guard with all the tidbits of cancer, when they're expecting happy smiling children faces. Welcome to my life. Again, after careful consideration, the flip of the coin goes to making my life stream-lined. One life, one blog.

I don't intend to keep this unique experience to myself. I know that I'm not capable of that, in all actuality. I need you. ALL of you. Sistahs and rainbow music-lovin' children arts lovers, too.

So how exactly does one fly across the country on the 'eve' of their scheduled Bilateral Mastectomies to sing happy little kiddie songs?? (See there, I used that specific term in context.... you can handle it, right? You did handle it, right?) Well, first of all you pack your 'blessings' scarf and have the thought at the last minute to throw in some extra pink fabric. Then you sing your songs. Then you tell the upcoming surgery-story, by looking at the one person in the audience who has been there/done that and survived. Then you invite good people to add their good wishes to your scarf on the newly cut ribbons of fabric. Then at night, when all the workshops are complete and all the applause has concluded, you spend the time awaiting your flight home to said surgery, by "reading" your scarf. Then you quietly cry, wrapped up in the strength of the community.

And now that there are literally hundreds and hundreds of ribbons on the scarf, it takes a while to read..... from end-to-end. When you return to gray Ohio, you read it again. And again. And again. And about the seventh time thru all those ribbons, just when you need it most, you untangle THE MOST amazing ribbon from the pack and your jaw hits the ground, and your heart skips a beat and your eyes open to their widest and you read and re-read. There is a ribbon that says: "Louisiana-Saints-Faith-Love-Hope!"

Then you just marvel at the synchronicity of the universe. You just sit in complete amazement. Quietly and in awe. Someone has written the two words: Saints and Faith, side by side on their ribbon. Someone who is a teacher in Louisiana and follows football and does not know that my cancer-mentor goes by the 'nick-name' Saint and that my code name in that community has been shortened to Faith has written those two words side-by-side. Seriously. I couldn't make this up. And that's why I'm gonna keep it all in one blog. The unbelievable blog that is my life's experience on this planet.

P.S. Special hugs & kudos to all the ribbon writers, but the other one that made me smile from ear-to-ear: "Hope you live for as many years as there are dots on your skirt."

P.S.S. That's ZB's Greg who was the other component of the equation that made for such a resounding success in the completion of this invitation.