Titusville, FL Flashback

It's time to attempt to catch up on the missing weeks of my spring here in blog-central. It's time to continue on our Delorean time-machine trip back through the spring-season and fill in the missing chapters. Before we took off for Europe, I flew from the Reading Council in Illinois back to Florida and then we hopped in the car and continued heading on south to the beachside city of Titusville. I had received a very special invitation to spend time on the beach and eat the biggest crab legs on earth in a trade for singin' with the most amazing kids we could find in Danielle's program. Here we are splashing and laughing and eating and smiling.

Heaven's Newest Angel

Some several years ago I gave an angel gift to my parents. She was made out of wood and was a beloved addition to their screened in porch. She sat perched watching the various plantings grow and the occasional "waldo" zip around the enclosed area. Alas, as time marched on she became weathered from her exposure to the elements..... which made her look even more appropriate on the porch.

Time passed further. My parents made the lightening-flash decision to leave their FL home. Leaving behind their beloved porch to head north to live amongst my sister's clan, in a high-rise over looking the river. When we made a surprise visit a week ago, they'd already gotten the head-spinning news that their offer had been accepted and that the closing date had been scheduled. So they were in the mood to share some of the porch do-dads in preparation for their relocation.

We came home with the much-loved and weather-worn angel to perch upon our lanai ledge. Then it was off to Orlando for us, which is where we received the news that my amazing friend Saint had herself become an angel. Somehow surrounded by the grandchildren, there in the Magic Kingdom, the reality of the announcement was softened. When we got back to our own home the brunt of the news hit harder. I selfishly mourned our daily conversations and pep-talks. I already missed the sound of her voice.

I kept trying to convince myself the blessings: that Pat would suffer pain no more, her eyesight would be restored and her energy level would again abound with Her-culean proportions. While this should bring me a rejoicing sense of calm, I still wanted to pick up the phone and talk thru the week's adventure.

Out to the lanai to contemplate the evening's sunset. There was the weathered sculptural-assemblage to greet me, interrupting my feeling sorry for myself and my reverie about Saint joining the angel chorus all too soon. That's when my light bulb went on!

I decided right then and there to reclaim the weather-worn angel, with all of it's aches and pains, and to give her the full heaven's treatment of restorative love. Out came the paint brushes and the bags of flotsom & jetsom, the glue gun and mini-wire, the ribbons, the ric-rac, the buttons, beads and pompoms now filled my heart with glee and anticipation.

First she got coats and coats of paint, just as I imagined Pat's body being made whole. That took an entire day of focus. Then came the adornments. Saint had earned every adornment in heaven's treasure house by her earthly walk of acceptance -- all the while offering others encouragement and hope. She deserved the rainbow treatment. She had indeed earned her pink wings, a full head of hair and a generous set of melons.

So this is how I spent my Easter weekend. I did not fly to Beloit, WI to attend Pat's funeral. She'd made me promise her that I wouldn't. She had all sorts of reasons to get me to promise. Part mother-hen, part control-freak, part romanticist. She wanted me to remember her fully alive, completely filled with life and laughter. I promised.

Instead of traveling cross country I spent the weekend therapeutically immersed in an art project. One that periodically had me intrigued at my own willingness to "play and laugh" in the face of my loss. Our loss. The community's loss. The further I embellished, the more I knew that I'd received Pat's seal-of-approval. Her totem now has a place of honor on our living room wall. She will forever be my touch-stone. My mazuzah-of-sorts. Having a tangible physical rainbow-reminder will be just the parable I need to oversee the next chapter of my own journey.

Thank all that is right with the Universe that we had the great good fortune to meet. I miss you sweetie. I miss you dearly. You have taught me much & I intend to honor you all the days of my life. Strength and courage. Strength and courage. Strength and courage.

Living on the Lanai

PROGRESS!! More progress!!!! The window inserts are now regally in their places, the carpet has been installed AND we have furniture!!! Retrieving the furniture from town required borrowing our neighbor's van, but we reciprocated by having them over for dinner to christen our new Florida room, appropriately located in Florida. An additional trip into town (remember I'm going to PT, three times a week) and I was able to locate happy stripes to bring some pizzazz to all that beige.

So you are now, all cordially invited over for a party! If you're a golfer, please bring your clubs..... as we are perched on the 9th fairway. You can see the pines which seperate us from the green in that final picture in the series. Just beyond the green is the "for-real" clubhouse. We found enclosed-cables of little white lights and that is the one remaining project: to string those permanently around the top of the walls creating a glorious, twinklie world of our own. We are very motivated to get everything done before Brian & Megan and the boys arrive at the end of the month. There really will be a party or two out there. You have a standing invitation.

Now it's time to go pack for our whirlwind travel plans ahead. We leave after tomorrow's PT to final destination Richmond, VA. Between here and there are the senior Hollisters (Noelle's inlaws) on Pawley's Island. They had genuinely extended an invitation for us to come for a visit. You know me. Anything with the word "island" in the title has my immediate attention. We'll spend one day together, Randy is planning to take Allen up for a flight in their new 'sport' airplane. We gals will hopefully be walking the shores, with a fall back plan of shopping -- should the weather not be co-operative. Then on from their place to my "triumphant return" to my real life, already-in-progress. I have three different workshops scheduled for the VA Early Childhood Conference on Saturday, as a guest of my friends at Zaner-Bloser. Oh happy day, I'm needin' me some joy & adoration. Send me your good wishes. Hopefully I'll remember what it is that I am all about, once I get us underway. Like riding a bike. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

Company Comes!!

Don't you just LOVE having company come over? The planning ahead, the looking forward to, the spritzing things up, clearing away the pile of newspapers and mail, coming up with a menu, and getting furniture for your lanai? Well. Laugh-out-loud. We really were prompted to track down some furniture for our wonderful, new, Florida room. The carpet was installed over the weekend and we found these great, tall stools and a table/bar contraption that fits our eating while admiring the view lifestyle. The two ceiling fans make for supreme comfort. The whole lanai ensemble is VERY beige..... VERY, VERY beige. I must go do some shopping for pink flamingos. Yes. That's what we need...... a flock of pink flamingos. (Maybe I should ask my significant other how he feels about flamingos.)

We have to come to Ocala Florida to visit with our friends from Cleveland, Ohio. Go figure. The fellows went out in the backyard and golfed and Edwina and I canvased the area for flamingos, while plotting out my next visit to her ol' stomping grounds. Edwina is the brilliant grant writer who pulls rabbits out of hats. This year she has written her grant in such a way as to include my new picture book into the bottom line. Each of her classrooms will receive "Tall Giraffe" prior to my arrival for the big show in the big gym: Head Start classrooms, children with special needs, parents invited -- the whole enchilada. Ohhhhhhh and during our retail therapy outting I found a 'giraffe' purse, that is large enough to carry the picture book and my giraffe 'costume.'

Home Improvements: Lanai

Do you remember the Golden Girls? They were always talking about going out on the lanai..... having a party on the lanai..... entertaining on the lanai..... reading on the lanai. You get the idea. Well, folks. We have a Florida home and guess what? We have a LANAI!! But with yesterday's heroic efforts we now have a fully functioning lanai. Our neighbor Jack has the exact same floor plan/design for their home. He had done all of the research to find window inserts for the massive screened in portions. I'd guess that the 3 screened window portions were each about 10 to 11 feet wide. Well he shared the contractor who'd made his inserts and then went even further by helping supervise Allen installing them yesterday. A couple of spilled cups of coffee and one flesh wound that required Jack retrieving a band-aid from his home and we're good to go.

Now I may start gushing about going out on the lanai, having a party on the lanai, entertaining on the lanai.... and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be out there reading on the lanai. This unseasonably cool winter will now have to release it's grip on us -- because we have an 'insulated' lanai.

Happy Valentine's Day

 

Would you call prom for seniors: senior prom?? Last night was our community dance for Valentine's Day. We went and had a super-great time dancing. Allen had planned ahead with the d.j. and had them play "our" song -- which was perfect for a fox trot across the brand new dance floor. The seriously great news is that we could also swing dance and complete most of our turns. No pretzel maneuver, but the basics were within my range-of-motion.

Unfortunately you can't see my brand new polka-dot flippity dance skirt in our professional picture. LOL.

Blizzard Baby Birthday!!

 

My babyiest daughter is celebrating her twenty-fifth birthday today. How is that possible?? In honor of her arrival on planet Earth we hung some of her original artwork today in our home here. I 'snatched up' her painting a couple of years ago. She painted it the summer she played camp counselor at art camp. We've just been waiting for the right moment to get it up on the wall. It's our first N.D. Hollister. The frame is Ikea. So is the pillow.

Noelle was born during an enormous winter storm. After she had arrived safe & sound they closed the entire county down for the next five days, to all travel except emergency vehicles. So I had a long stay in the hospital. Right in the middle of my stay, the window right beside my bed blew in. It was replaced with sheets of plywood and I was moved to a new room. Memorable.

It seems only fitting that in honor of her 25th there would be storm after storm after storm pummeling their Annapolis-DC area, setting historic records for snow accumulation.

Angels in Mini-Vans

It's now 5 weeks since my second diagnosis of DCIS. I had two years and nine months to consider the possibility of hearing that announcement again, "It's cancer." It's been just over three weeks since my surgery and I am making progress toward reclaiming my life. One step at a time. Literally. My BC mentor and friend, Saint, put me on a very specific walking program. We call it: one step at a time. (My new mantra.) Walking upon waking and then a nice rest with computer visiting and then a second walk sometime after lunch. I am working very hard to pace myself, to guard against my splurge toward 'over-doing' it.

So earlier this week I checked the skies & the thermometer and dressed appropriately: walking pants, long sleeve t-shirt and then due to the 49 degrees I zipped up my hot-pink, winter parka, all the way up to my hood. For Pete's sake I'm from the mid-west... 49 degrees on a February morning with a blue sky, is an open inviation to get moving!

Off I went. I have a route. I follow it conscientously, again, to guard against my own enthusiasm & my desire which over-extends my actual current capabilities. I was just about to my half way mark, when I heard a car approaching me from behind. Slowing down. Someone needing directions to the clubhouse perhaps?? (It's really hard to imagine that anyone is lost.) The mini-van came to a complete stop and the driver put her window down and I walked over. Then came the most amazing part of the interaction, the part worth logging down for posterity. The driver said these four words to me, "You are sooooo courageous."

I am stunned. I am flabber-gasted. I have no words. I am on the verge of tears.... maybe even a total melt-down? How does she know? How does this total stranger know my story? The tears are all set to cascade when in my complete silence she continues, "This is such a cold morning for a Florida walk."

My tears turn to laughter on a dime, instantaneously. My heart does a couple of cart-wheels. She doesn't know my tale of woe!! She has not used her super powers of x-ray vision to beam thru my three layers of protective gear to assess my scars. She did not read the bumper sticker on my back that says 'bilateral-basket case, no recon, approach with care'. She has not ascertained anything from my body language or the pace of my walk. She apparently didn't even see the neon lights blinking over my head flashing: "2-time cancer survivor, emotional land mine, pass with caution." She was commenting on the unseasonable weather. Seriously!! In her mind, walking on a brisk morning made me courageous. Just imagine.......

I stammer something about recently completed surgery and my needing fresh air. She asks for my first name & promises to say a prayer for me. My return trip home is a blink, because I keep repeating her statement to myself, "You are sooo courageous. You are SOOO courageous. YOU are sooooo courageous." [I think it's one of those times when "fake it-till ya make it," is applicable.] I can squeeze my ears, right now as I type, and hear her saying to me, "You are soooo courageous." I'm inching closer and closer to my new normal. Tomorrow's assignment will be to walk and smile at the same time.

Never under-estimate the power of four kind words spoken by a stranger.

A mini-van with an angel. Thank you and thank you again.

(****edited to add a posed picture of me walking thru my neighborhood against the blue FL sky, that's Fran's new P.T. Cruiser in their drive-way.)

UNBirthday Party

 

 

Here are the first pictures of me on this side of surgery. Proof-of-life! All I can claim is clean hair. LOL. (Of course any of you who have had surgery to the top half of your body realize that having CLEAN hair, i.e. washing your own hair, is an ENORMOUS victory in itself. Using a round brush or curling iron are skills to aspire to, as my range-of-motion improves....baby steps.)

These are my parents, here at our FL home, to celebrate all of our birthdays. How do you spell carrot cake? YUMMY. I know they were relieved (insert: THRILLED) to see me up and moving and more-or-less acting like myself. They can exhale now. I will get stronger with each passing week and then rebuild some stamina after that. In the meantime it was great fun to celebrate each other with UNbirthday love.

Florida Blue Skies

 

 

 

 

Last summer and the Door County blue skies, led me from one garden patch to the next on my bicycle, always in search of the illusive daisies. It would have been fun to have a picture of me taking the thousands of pictures in order to get the rare and occaisional picture in focus, with the blue sky background. I became quite a contortionist in the process.... and loved every minute of the pursuit.

Well we have arrived safely in Florida in the hopes that my healing will proceed 'faster' in the warmth. Yesterday there was indeed full sun and you guessed it a BLUE sky. It reminded me of Door County and my daisies.... then I had a startling thought. My parents had sent me an arrangement of daisies!!! Though perhaps technically passed their peak, they were still daisi-esque. I could 'remove' them from their planter and 'pose' them up against the sky. Yes indeed-ie-do! That's exactly what I did!!

I gradually learned that I could sit (slouch) in our camp chair in our back yard, left hand holding daisies over-head and my bunged up right hand/arm could just manage to hold camera and click. What a happy distraction and good range-of-motion exercise, all in one!

To tell you the truth it felt a bit like 'cheating'..... the holding of pre-cut daisies against the brilliant sky. I consoled myself with ideas about magic and illusion and photography and studio work. In the end, once the images were in my laptop (which did not go 'smoothly' for some techno-geekie-mystery?!?) I could just admire them for their beauty and forgave myself for the manner in which the photographs were manufactured.

Yesterday, I took just over 100 shots, I downloaded 82 and have fallen in love with at least 50. These are a series of four I shot for my dear friend Saint. We were on the phone just before I had this 'brain-storm.' She is currently challenged by pain and side effects, loss of vision and anxiety over the coming radiation to her brain. My blessing was to picture the two of us together and "whole."

Last summer, au naturale, I would shoot 100, keep 10 and like 3. This was indeed an eaiser 'method' which makes me laugh and laugh at my advetures in the field. Last summer, not once, did it ever occur to me that I could go to a florist, buy a bouquet of daisies and pose them. Some ideas take a while to percolate. I have an idea how to use the many images in a project. Wish me luck.

One More FL Peek

Yesterday was IKEA assemble day. Look at my studio..... assembled just in time for my departure. I've documented it's existence as encouragement for me to be eager to return. (Like I'd need this encouragement: ha! The aerobic line-dancing is enticement enough.)

Farewell Happy Florida

Well I'm all packed up and ready to leave the sunshine of FL for the clouds of OH. I wanted to share the evidence of my happy collage now hanging proudly on the wall of the living room. We screwed together our new little red IKEA chair and now the room is complete!! Just in time for me to head north. Allen assures me it will be here when I get back next winter! Funny, tho, it's intriguing that he gets to stay here for several weeks, yet. Hmmmmmmm.