Let the Healing Begin

"What ought one to say then as each hardship comes?
I was practicing for this, I was training for this."
-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Greek Philosopher

****Warning, warning, warning. This blog about children and music and the arts is being interrupted by my latest experience with breast cancer. I am wrestling with just how 'candid' to be about this chapter of my life. I promise not to post any pictures here of my body as it heals, but I may be uncharacteristically glum on occasion -- possibly too detailed for the casual reader.

So continue reading at your own discretion.

I am home from my over-night stay at the hospital. I am home from having had surgery to remove my breast cancer. I have 'survived' a bilateral mastectomy and have begun the process of healing. At this the 60 hour mark since surgery my frustration is that all of the medicines intended to help me overcome the pain, seem to be keeping me from sleeping. Hopefully that will balance out as I wean from the prescriptions..... I long for some serious sleep.

The quote above is 'new' to me. Insightful. Last summer while I was riding my bike at length, I used to say to myself going up a 'tough' hill, "This is good training......." and then I would leave the rest of that thought unfinished, with the 'suspicious' area on my last mamogram looming somewhere in my mind's eye. And I would push myself to ride a little further. Good training. Good training, indeed.

I rode 827 miles on my bike last summer in preparation, in training, in an effort to affirm life --in an effort to build strength and confidence in myself. I 'knew' going up and down those hills that I was preparing, I was in training. I was in training for this weekend. For this very weekend. I am convincing myself every hour that I can survive this, that I can in fact 'thrive' this surgery.

Like the hills that went up and came back down, I know that there are challenges awaiting me. I prepared for this weekend and I have passed over this hurdle, this surgery is now history. Now I can forge ahead into reclaiming my life and discovering just what it is that I'm able to contribute.